Do you love the power of words?
Here is a starter to help you write more expressively about your holidays... And as a bonus, you need less words too ;-)
New Zealand has several famous writers and poets. James K. Baxter is one of them.
He writes thus:
"The town was usual enough; it had
A creek, a bridge, a beach, a sky
Over it, and even a small tin church
I never went to. My brother, my cousins and I
Did what boys do - dozed in the hot
Schoolroom, made bows and arrows, dodged the mad
Boatbuilder, crept like rabbits through the black
Under-runners with a weak torch,
Burnt dry rushes, wrestled or swam
Doing nothing important"
- James K. Baxter
Re-write the poem, filling in your own details about a place you have been to, using strong verbs, interesting nouns, and appealing adjectives, yet maintaining the same rhythm. Post it on your own blog or as a comment here. Don't forget to sign your name. I can't wait to read them.
The river was usual enough;
ReplyDeleteIt had rocks, small rapids, bush
down to its edge, a sandy beach and
undercut, overhanging banks.
Lochie and I did what dog and owner do - strolled through the long
still-dew-covered grass, played throw
and catch with a stick, teetered over river rocks, one of us trying to keep her feet dry,
explored the bush doing nothing important.
Thanks for the opportunity to write about a
ReplyDeleteone-day walk Rm 10. I enjoyed doing that. I'm looking forward to reading some of yours!
The beach was usual enough;
ReplyDeleteThe waves where settled, but the sand was very HOT
we splashed coldish water, my sister and I put our names in the wet sand with sticks, trying not to drop our ice-cream that mum and dad had brought us,
doing nothing important.
The cart was usual enough;
ReplyDeleteit had a steering wheel, small black wheels on the bottom, the long wide track went on and on, the big green bushes were shrouding the track, I zoomed down one of the black steep tracks, it wasn't important at all.
The arena was usual enough. It had playground bark,tiny rocks and stones scattered. The sign by the hill was all mossy with wet rain and dirty dirt. The levees on the path were scattered everywhere. The dirt are on the bridge YUK!
ReplyDeleteThe sky was usual enough;
ReplyDeleteThe clouds were fluffy and drifted across the clear blue, as I gazed up and imagined myself floating high above, looking for my house, where I live, my home.
The trees were bright green, shining with the glistening raindrops teetering on the edge of their leaves from a recent shower.
To my joy, a rainbow, beautiful colours, just for me.
WOW Victoria I like your poem how it has descriptive words and I like how you put the glistening raindrops on the edge of the leaves from the recent shower(that was my favourite part of the poem) and how you did the sky was usual enough. You are a fantastic poem writer and your poems make so much sense to me and you really know how to write those kind of poems. Your poem really really really stood out for me
DeleteWow Victoria, that sounds great I really liked it, when you used a adverb infront of the green which was bright.
Deleteshining with the glistening raindrops.
The clouds were fluffy.
Beautiful coulours.
(those were my most favourite parts out of your poem the ones that really standed out for me)
You really brought your poem to LIFE!
Thanks so much Vicky. We have enjoyed reading your poem in our writing sharing time today. We asked Sophia if you write in your spare time and she said you do. You OBVIOUSLY love words. It made us think of times when we looked up at clouds and imagined......
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ReplyDeleteThe town was usual enough;
ReplyDeleteIt had a small four square, and a bakery with lots of goodies, and a closed down school.
It had a mysterious theatre that I never went too.
My family and I do what enormous families do best, eat chocolate buns down on the hot sand at the beach, doing nothing important.
Poem by Sam and Angela.
I like the way that you explained the rules (recipe) to mum. You are lucky to be able to go to Opunake to stay at your batch. I thought, at first, that you meant that you had lots of children in your family....until I read about eating chocolate buns!!! I like the double meaning that this could have. Keep sharing your ideas you two!!!!!
ReplyDeleteHuka Prawn farm was usual a enough. It had plenty of gigantic school of prawns. A place I've never discovered before. The net I firmly touched. It was like I was going to burst with joy. My line wiggled and jiggled in the dark, damp and shady pond. Delicately lifting up my line keeping my hopes up. What a disappointment. No prawns to day.
ReplyDelete